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Oh man it's good to be free! where the hell was i? all i remember was it was 2002, there was a something about a vodka and pancake eating contest...somehow there was a bear....and a cop..and...ah hell. who cares. it's a blur. anyway, they finally let me out. (from where, i'm not at liberty to say. it was part of my plea agreement. but believe me, it was not pretty. no fresh herbs, no tonic water. total hell. but surprisingly....it's not that hard to distill institution-issue soap into a pretty tasty beverage. and soon i'll be posting instructions for turning the standard cell-block latrine into a very efficient still. but more on that later.....). because right now i'm ready to get back into my own kitchen! now where the hell is that?......
By the way, for those of you who did not sit longingly by the window, counting the days, awaiting my return while painstakingly archiving your collection of Marsha Hubert recipes...i will do you the favor of referring you to this link for old recipes: MarshaHubert.com Do not try and sign up for the email list on that ancient website. that is from the old world of 2000, as you will note by the references to Apollo Ohno and The X Files. those were the days before Blogs when it was still ok to spam your entire email list. those days are gone. you must check in here religiously for all of your favorite Marsha Hubert tidbits. and don't email me (at marshahubert@gmail.com) unless it's really urgent and you're prepared to send me something. like viles of pure saffron or some Amoroso sherry from Garvey bodega which will be very expensive and you will feel very good about giving it as a gift. anyhow, on to today's recipe:
Huevos del Diablo
(The Devil's Eggs.... for you gringo's out there.)
In the struggle between good and evil, i like to sit on the sidelines and drink a nice bloody mary. i mean, is it really necessary to choose sides? like i always say; too many cooks in hell's kitchen spoils the sin-chowder. alright, alright....i'll give the fighter's for goodness some credit what with ambrosia, angel food cake, organic arugula and the like, but i refuse to put money down. i mean, sparkling apple cider is good, but when the dark lord bust's out with baby suckling pig slow roasted with orange marmalade and hot chili....well, i gotta maybe go for the little bacon. and besides, you got to admire the work ethic... he works as hard as anybody and in pretty shitty conditions at that. he keeps the place warm and he don't discriminate. everybody's welcome to dinner, or....everybody is dinner. whatever. give the devil his due, as they say. The guy's got eggs.
INGREDIENTS:
(and remember people...Marsha Hubert recipes are created during cocktail hour. whatever hour that may be. this one happens to be a midmorning start time, obviously...with the bacon and eggs. but as such, you know i'm prone to forget things. so if this ends up tasting horrible, well- i warned you.)
1 Bloody Mary, for sipping while you prepare this....
3 large hardboiled eggs (is all i had...but obviously, you can just expand all this)
Bacon (a few pieces...some for the eggs, some for dunking in the bloody mary)
3T Mayo
1T fresh Lemon juice
Fresh chives
Salt and Pepper
First, have your bartender mix you up a nice spicy bloody mary. if you don't have a live-in bartender, GET ONE. it'll change your life. once you have your drink ready, take a moment to focus on the task at hand. maybe put on some background music, White Zombie, Mozart's Requiem or the soundtrack from The Omen work well. or, what they actually play in hell: Phil Collins.
Separate the yolks from the eggs and put 'em in a bowl. add mayo and lemon juice. whisk together until smooth and slightly stiff. (not runny! i suggest adding the mayo and juice a bit at a time. you never know exactly how much yoke you're going to have....i can't be responsible for the variations of nature.)
Fry up some bacon and slice it into thin pretty strips.
Chop some chives.
Scoop mixture by the spoonful back into eggs. YOU ALL KNOW HOW TO MAKE DEVILED EGGS. don't pretend you don't. spoon it in. sprinkle eggs with salt and pepper. sprinkle with chives. top off with bacon strips. make another bloody mary and enjoy!
do we need to talk about bacon? i don't know. you all know how i feel about this. DON'T USE CRAPPY BACON. get good bacon. bacon with some meat in it. sliced thick. do whatever you have to to get it. sleep with the butcher if you have to. if you are in the city...someone has good bacon. if you're in the country, get some bacon from the 4-H kid across the road. if you're in the suburbs, where there is no good bacon, move.
By the way, for those of you who did not sit longingly by the window, counting the days, awaiting my return while painstakingly archiving your collection of Marsha Hubert recipes...i will do you the favor of referring you to this link for old recipes: MarshaHubert.com Do not try and sign up for the email list on that ancient website. that is from the old world of 2000, as you will note by the references to Apollo Ohno and The X Files. those were the days before Blogs when it was still ok to spam your entire email list. those days are gone. you must check in here religiously for all of your favorite Marsha Hubert tidbits. and don't email me (at marshahubert@gmail.com) unless it's really urgent and you're prepared to send me something. like viles of pure saffron or some Amoroso sherry from Garvey bodega which will be very expensive and you will feel very good about giving it as a gift. anyhow, on to today's recipe:
Huevos del Diablo
(The Devil's Eggs.... for you gringo's out there.)
In the struggle between good and evil, i like to sit on the sidelines and drink a nice bloody mary. i mean, is it really necessary to choose sides? like i always say; too many cooks in hell's kitchen spoils the sin-chowder. alright, alright....i'll give the fighter's for goodness some credit what with ambrosia, angel food cake, organic arugula and the like, but i refuse to put money down. i mean, sparkling apple cider is good, but when the dark lord bust's out with baby suckling pig slow roasted with orange marmalade and hot chili....well, i gotta maybe go for the little bacon. and besides, you got to admire the work ethic... he works as hard as anybody and in pretty shitty conditions at that. he keeps the place warm and he don't discriminate. everybody's welcome to dinner, or....everybody is dinner. whatever. give the devil his due, as they say. The guy's got eggs.
INGREDIENTS:
(and remember people...Marsha Hubert recipes are created during cocktail hour. whatever hour that may be. this one happens to be a midmorning start time, obviously...with the bacon and eggs. but as such, you know i'm prone to forget things. so if this ends up tasting horrible, well- i warned you.)
1 Bloody Mary, for sipping while you prepare this....
3 large hardboiled eggs (is all i had...but obviously, you can just expand all this)
Bacon (a few pieces...some for the eggs, some for dunking in the bloody mary)
3T Mayo
1T fresh Lemon juice
Fresh chives
Salt and Pepper
First, have your bartender mix you up a nice spicy bloody mary. if you don't have a live-in bartender, GET ONE. it'll change your life. once you have your drink ready, take a moment to focus on the task at hand. maybe put on some background music, White Zombie, Mozart's Requiem or the soundtrack from The Omen work well. or, what they actually play in hell: Phil Collins.
Separate the yolks from the eggs and put 'em in a bowl. add mayo and lemon juice. whisk together until smooth and slightly stiff. (not runny! i suggest adding the mayo and juice a bit at a time. you never know exactly how much yoke you're going to have....i can't be responsible for the variations of nature.)
Fry up some bacon and slice it into thin pretty strips.
Chop some chives.
Scoop mixture by the spoonful back into eggs. YOU ALL KNOW HOW TO MAKE DEVILED EGGS. don't pretend you don't. spoon it in. sprinkle eggs with salt and pepper. sprinkle with chives. top off with bacon strips. make another bloody mary and enjoy!
do we need to talk about bacon? i don't know. you all know how i feel about this. DON'T USE CRAPPY BACON. get good bacon. bacon with some meat in it. sliced thick. do whatever you have to to get it. sleep with the butcher if you have to. if you are in the city...someone has good bacon. if you're in the country, get some bacon from the 4-H kid across the road. if you're in the suburbs, where there is no good bacon, move.
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