Mother F----....i know how late it is! but i got 3 more hours until mother's day is officially over. i would have had this up sooner but i couldn't get an internet connection from the bathroom where i had locked myself in for the day. so here it is...a little late, but you know what- every day is mother's day!


One Angry Mother
Ah mother's day... that mother of all days. and what does every mother need more than anything else? that's right! a stiff drink. what did you think we wanted? flowers? no no no. the only thing that makes being a mother any easier...is vodka. so skip the scones and the eggs benedict and get out the stir sticks.

This is a little variation on a bloody mary, but mary didn't have kids so she didn't need the few extras that i threw in here. This recipe calls for vodka, but you could easily use gin, or whatever you can grab while running from the 2 year old with a sword. the tomato juice here also qualifies this drink as a food, god knows mom's forget to eat when they're hustling the kids around all day. so rest assured moms! you won't starve to death as long as you drink a few Angry Mother's a day. it also has a dash of the finest aged balsamic vinegar,for the anti-oxidents of course. nothing will tag on twenty years like two years with a toddler. this drink is sweet, spicy and just plain looks like trouble....kind of like us mom's before the kids. top this drink off with flaming saffron, an All-Seeing-Eye* and of course, a dash of bitters.


MIX:

1 part vodka
2 parts Clamato juice (or tomato juice or V8 if you are in training)
1/4 tsp of the finest aged balsamic vinegar (aged at least as old as you feel)
juice from one lime wedge
dollop of Tapatio sauce (more if you like spicy)
1 dash Bitters

Serve over ice
Garnish with a pinch of dried saffron petals (like the flames in a mother's eyes), a cigarette and a skewer of lime topped off with an ALL SEEING EYE*. because....you all know that mom's see everything.

ALL SEEING EYE
Take one pitted kalamata olive and carefully cut a circle out of it. stuff it with a soft cheese of your choice. blue cheese works very well and gives a slightly blood-shot look. place a small piece of olive back in the center for the pupil.




i like to enjoy an Angry Mother while locked in the bathroom reading old westerns in the empty tub....




flamin' saffron! this is so budget....it's just the petals, not the spice that cost's more per ounce than platinum.




no one escapes the All Seeing Eye of an Angry Mother